Old blog to start the new

This is a blog I posted on 4 September 2004 - the 21st anniversary of my father's death!

Mortality
As I have got older, the more my mortality has come into focus. I remember when I was young, in my twenties and thirties, I never for one instant thought I would ever die!! I suppose that is a natural process for young people, isn't it?
I was thirty-three when my dad died - it's the 21st anniversary today - and still I felt immortal! My mom died eleven years later and my eldest brother this year!! Suddenly it all comes into sharp focus. I am mortal!! Boy, what a revelation.... So, if I am mortal, how long do I have left on this planet? What about my family? My wife, my kids, my grandkids.... Will they miss me? Will I leave a legacy? Will people still talk about me twenty or thirty years hence?
The funny thing is, we're all mortal!! The only thing that is a certainty in this life is that one day it will end. And there is only one person who knows when that will be.... GOD!!! Whew, scary huh? No, not really!! I suppose the biggest thing is accepting the fact that we are mere mortals. Accept the fact that one day we will meet our maker. Suddenly, all the fear, trepidation and angst one feels about dying disappears. Strange but true. I now fully accept that one day I will no longer be around to watch my children's children grow up and maybe have their own kids!
In a sense, it is a relief, I think. Now all I have to do is to plan properly for the eventuality of my death. I just hope that when it does come, it is swift and painless. Not like my father and brother. They both had cancer and suffered extreme pain before they succumbed. My poor mom was not too bad. She had a severe heart attack while she was sleeping. The doctor said she didn't even know it. That was a relief to know.
I also would not like to die a gory death like a car crash or similar. I would also not like to drown and my body never recovered. I want to die peacefully, have my remains cremated and scattered over the waves in the ocean where I spent many, many happy hours of my life!!
So what is mortality? I guess it is a passage of time where we are allocated a body and given a family on earth to do as much as we can in order to learn numerous lessons of life. When we have learned those lessons, our time is up and we are taken back to where we came from. Is that heaven? Yes, I think so. I do believe there is a God and there is a heaven and that is where I come from and will return to, some day.

El'Musto